Words.worth

Vengeful Thinking

Vengeance is a word that has been ringing through my mind for the last two days. Never mind my extreme annoyance with a number of people and their limited views on reality. I am not referring to the type of vengeance that I normally seek. That type is the kind where I allow my knowledge and intuitiveness to plod through the ignorance and eschew the misinformation. This vengeance that I am referring to is one of a physical nature and truthfully I almost feel justified for thinking this way.

I spent the last couple days in Kansas City on a business trip. When I returned home I get a phone call at my office from my mother telling me some information that shook me to the core. She told me that my step-father (A man whose actions have deemed him worthy of the title Daddy) had been car-jacked. She assured me that he was not injured (Thank the creator for that) physically but, mentally he was somewhat taken back. He was taken back that he was car-jacked in his own neighborhood. The place where his children were raised and the place where one should feel safe. Home.

Excluding my many summers in North Philly I was raised in Yellowstone, Houston (an off-shoot of Third Ward). Yeah bullshit occurred there but, show me a neighborhood where there is no adversity and I will show you the paradise of a utopian. So now I am feeling vengeful. What bothers me is the fact that feeling this way does not bother me. When man begins experiencing the numbness of angered emotions that is when revenge occurs. I know this but, I still do not care.

Should I forgive a stranger?

Should I forgive my own people?

Should my own people even be a stranger? Maybe I have been delusional over the last few years. In my delusional mind I have always defended black people. Lately I have been defending black men more than ever. Trying to let people know that it simply is not the way it looks on the surface. No we are not committing all of these crimes. No we have not all lost our way. Yes some of us understand our place in history. Yes we know how to treat our women. Yes we know how to treat our own. That was a crash moment in time. I am not sure if I believe that anymore. Is that wrong? Hell yes. However, at the same time: Is that right? You damn skippy. So if all of these things that were previously wrong are indeed right.

Does that mean my vengeful spirit is as well?

It sure does feel like it.

posted by Words.worth @ 12:24 PM