Words.worth

Separation Anxiety

“Your just a baby boy you aint the real McCoy.” Those words reverberated and bounced off the left wall of my cerebral cortex hit the right banister of my heart and crash landed on an X in the center of my soul. We aint the real McCoy anymore.

As I got in from my new office the other day I sat on my couch, reached for my mp3 player and television remote simultaneously. I always joke about being able to find irony and coincidence in every aspect of life so; obviously this next statement will be exactly that. An ironical coincidence or is it coincidental irony? I’ll allow the reader to decipher.

What song was my mp3 player on? Tupac’s Young Black Male. Then I turn on the television on. What station was the television on? BET (Black Entertainment Television that is now majority owned by Viacom, go figure). What movie was coming on? Baby boy. What was coming on after that? On the Down Low (About secretly homosexual black men). Pardon the previous fragments. However, that is how I have been feeling lately. Like an incomplete sentence in paragraph of correct grammar.

Fuck it yall. This one aint following the rules of writing etiquette and it will not be for the sensitive, faint of heart or paraplegic, polluted, politically correct, pussy willowed conspiracy hypothetical, delusional.

We are allowing what is rightfully ours to be taken from us and we are not even mustering a semblance of what resembles a fight. Hell as usual we do not even know it is being taken. No it is not being taken by white people. No it is not being embezzled by the government. Neither of those parties has to steal this from us. It is being pilfered by none other than us. We black people the original people from the basin of the Nile and creators of technology in Kemit that is screen played by the likes of Michelle Pfeiffer and Liz Taylor. We are the ones doing it. What is it we are stealing? We are thieving our birthed ability to love each other. We are gradually stealing from each other and each time we steal from the next woman or man their capacity to love gradually decreases until they finally say fuck it. Eventually we will reach a point where we have a race of people saying fuck it. Now think about that one.

How are we taking love from each other? We are doing too much damn in-fighting with each other! Yall know what I am referring to. All black women have bad attitudes, all black men are dying or are in prison, all black women are looking for a meal ticket and all successful black men marry white women. Damn I might as well get a t-shirt reading I love watermelon, grits and fried chicken with a picture of lil Sambo dancing a jig to a banjo and moonshine bottle band. All the classic sweeping generalizations are our favorites and here comes another by the creator of this internet manuscript. We do this shit because we are lazy. Yep black folks are lazy. We are too lazy to get off our collective asses and work with each other. Love takes effort. I had that occupation for seven years and was on the cusp of consummating occupational vows. However, like everything else we half-ass our job.

Check the method. We simply take jobs just to get by. Translation: We get into relationships just to say we have someone. Stop settling.

We work jobs that we do not love. Translation: We stay in relationships that are not healthy just because we are afraid of being alone.

We start coming into work later and later and then cannot handle when our peers get promotions. Translation: We gradually stop doing the special things we used to do in the early stages of the relationship and then can not understand why all of our friends are getting married.

We do not perform our job to the best of our ability. Translation: We are not giving our significant other everything they deserve so they leave. Then we end up bitter and badmouthing that person to other people.

We end up fired from or quitting our jobs. Translation: We end up fired from or quitting our relationships!

Ego. As a community we are all ego-tripping. I am not referring to self-bravado or self-indulgence. I am referring to the emotion that has simultaneously caused the downfall of great civilizations and gave the motivation to build new societies. Pride (P.R.I.D.E. Possible Reasons In Defining EGO). We are too damn prideful and it is causing us to be stubborn. I am guilty of it at times as well.

How many times has one seen this scenario? Dude is feeling a woman but, he never approaches her because he is afraid of rejection. She is a good woman and there is a possible chemistry but, he is never able to experience it because his ego tells him that his feelings cannot handle her rejecting him. A love never gained is a love lost. How about this scenario? A sista is doing reasonably well for herself. In fact sista is more financially stable than over half the brothas that she encounters. So she decides in her mind that his pocketbook is more important than his personality. I guess his bank statement will keep her warm when he is away from home 80 percent of the time doing what he has to do to keep money in that same bank account. Stop ego-tripping.

Finally we need to know our place in this society. Throughout world history we have always had to depend on each other. When we were the original beings all we had were each other. When we were slaves in Jerusalem all we had was each other. When we were teaching the druids how to build Stonehenge in order to navigate time, all we had was each other. When Europeans came and raided our countries all we had was each other. When we were helping build railroads as slaves in America all we had was each other. When were marching for equal rights in the 1960’s all we had was each other. Finally, as we navigate the sea of love in this new millennia, all we have is each other…………

-Peace-

posted by Words.worth @ 9:59 AM